Just...a thought

I have again been attacked by the writer's block and was thinking that I wouldn't be able to write for some time;But such is life,things do happen when u least expect them to.

Had a terrible start to the day where I stuck my foot in the bathroom door and the damn thing still hurts.Somehow got dressed for work to realize that i wasn't fitting into my favorite shirt all of a sudden;Grumpy and grouchy left for work only to be stuck in a hour long traffic jam.
Finally on reaching office,when i was struggling hard to gain my sensibilities,i had a major fight with one of my closest friends.And for the first time in 4 years,we both raised our voices and yelled and shouted at each other.
I feel terrible ever since.I shouldn't have said all the bad things I did...but at the same time I feel that the same holds true for him.
The trouble with friends of opposite sex is that the perspectives of fights change for the two people.While the men show their anger by keeping quiet,we women tend to be more expressive and loud.
So,while my talking too much pissed him off,his keeping quiet did the job for me.
I am so miffed,and irritated yet I don't know how to correct this situation.There are times when u know its not your fault,and u know that u stand correct,but tend to change your judgment for others' happiness..
But this time I don't wish to do it.How many times can we go on losing ourselves and our thoughts to keep others happy?Shouldn't the same thing hold true for others too?
Why can't friends stop being judgmental and take you the way you are?Why do some people expect you to change for them when ideally a true friend should accept you the way u are and still love you?Why do people expect you to be sensitive to their emotions while they don't do the same to you?Why do people dislike it when you decide to stand up to your thoughts against them,when they were the ones who taught you to do so?
So many questions in my mind and none that I have answer to..
I just know that I don't want to lose a good friend to an ego clash;that's the worst death a friendship can suffer.:(

Lessons from Rufus -II

Rufus is now 7 months old,freakishly crazy and a totally mad dog....:)
And like before, he still has a lot of lessons in his wisdom book to give me...

1)Some times its good to leave all your inhibitions behind and let your hair loose...



2)Bathing on sunday...is a bad idea..and when you think it is,you must let it show!!



2.If you are in love,then show it!!


Rufus does it by standing hours in the balcony while pepper(his girlfriend) is taking a walk in the lawn



3.Do share your love story with someone you trust...


Sharing it with me helped him immensely,as now the duo generally takes a walk together at the same time.



4)Food should and must always be top priority...


even when it comes from unexpected quarters...


and weird sources...

My song

Since offlate I have been making a lot of trips down the memory lane,here is something which is probably closest to my heart.
the first song that I ever sang....
Though papa happened to misplace his most favorite cd(which had the version I sang for the first time on stage) a few years back,the original version is enough to bring a big smile to my face....
I call it my song.....whats yours?

Farewell

Torn apart in the waves of time
Rusting through the paths I crossed
Entwined in the ghostly bygones
I bid you good bye,Yesterday
Farewell...!

Of books and people...and life..

We always pride ourselves to be very social people..We meet people,make friends wherever we go, build relationships ,some that last a lifetime and some that die when the night is over.But there are some relations in life ,that never go out of sync,no matter which part of your life have you stored them.
As I was looking for an old book in my bookshelf last night and flipping through its worn out pages,is when I realized that our life too is so similar.
We tend to buy every good book that hits the market(or atleast I do!),we read the book,are completely lost during the course of it,never letting go of a single page and engrossed till the end.During that phase,each page is important and the wait to read another one endless.for those few days,that one book revolves around your mind all the time.If it is good,it comes in the last of “My favorites” and if not,its ready to be stored in some back shelf of the book rack.
With the passing life,the process continues,our choices change and so does our mindset.new books take the place of the old ones and so on and so forth.Life goes on and we tend to get busy with the complexities of it.

But,we fail to see that the books that we collected through the course are still there on the shelf,stacked and a rusted few, in a hope that we might just want to have a look at them again;and there are times when we do,probably to read our favorite chapter,or in a need to revisit some lovely memories.But when we do,we realize that we let a lot of time slip away before deciding to look back..
Some times,we tend to get so busy with the events in our lives,that we tend to forget the people who we have left behind in the flow.The people who stayed by our side when we needed them the most and the same people you forgot in your due course of life.
Some times I wonder how selfish we humans are.We need people to be around us during our bad times,but when the time is for us to do the same,we get overtly entwined in our own set of problems.
How often do all of us feel trapped in our own shadows,our own ghosts.How often do we feel that there was a time when we never had to think before we poured our heart to the same friend,with who carrying a conversation for more than five minutes now seems like task.How was it when each phone call was important,and how is it now that the number of missed calls is always higher that the dialed calls.

I feel so;Today as I look back ,I feel terrible.Terrible for having let my closest people slip away,for being so selfish and for being so lost in my own issues and problems,that I forgot about the people who mattered.people who cared and people who silently walked each chapter of my life,even when I was busy reading the newer ones.
And its so weird to see that when a whole night was very little to finish the talks,is now restricted to a basic how are you doing.What was once a careless banter,has now turned into an occasional difficult call.
And so,I am on a path now,from where I need to carve my way back,to reach out to the people who I had somehow forgotten in this journey of my life.People who were nice,and people who were bad,people who loved me,and people who I loved back,people who mattered and people who cared and some of them who simply made a difference in my life by just being there. Its never too late to start from where you left,and from today,I will do just what I used to do back in those years,when world really was a beautiful place….

I don’t know how many people may relate to my thoughts,but the ones who do,make sure you make that phone call today,and make sure who let the people know on how they really made a difference in your life by just being there..Say anything that you have been meaning to say for long,but haven’t been able to for reasons as simple as not getting the time.Take out time,and open up your heart…
Sometimes ,its a conversation that could have ended everything…but sometimes its just a conversation that will begin a new chapter in your life…

Innocence...

With Crazy mind and naughty eyes,
Jumping joys and funny toys…
Roaming the streets,on the 3 wheel cycles,
Hiding from mom, donning her sandals…
Giggles endless,and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Early to bed and early to rise,
Mom and dad…and things so nice…
Waiting each night for bedtime stories,
Tweaking them daily, mom seemed so wise…
Hugs endless, and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Life was all silly games and fun I had,
When English was good, and Maths so bad…
Deadlines for homework, were never attended,
And times of madness, always extended…
Moments timeless, and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Papa always taking my side,
And I would look at mom with pride…
Maths or Science, friends or fiends,
This and thats…and the wordly rants...
Papa ready with all the solutions,
To my wordly set of problems...
Sitting in his lap and dreaming all time,
Papa ……..the bestest friend of mine…
Love selfless,and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence...


After seven was way too late,
And mom was always waiting by the gate...
When Restrictions seemed such farce,
..and mom seemed so very harsh...
Couldn’t wait to grow up..Couldn’t wait to be free,
Couldn’t wait to move out..when couldn’t wait to be ME...
Wait endless and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Grown up now,that I look back in time,
I want it all,the times that were all mine…
I am me…all grow up and free,
Something that, I always wanted to be…
Yet there’s so much that’s gone missing,
I spend each day, secretly wishing…
I want so badly, the days gone by,
The bedtime stories, and fun with friends,
Schooling days, those madness ways....

All this and all that,and a little bit more,
Times of my life,I could hold no more..!

w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r!!!!!!!

I m so totally pissed...freaked...irritated...and god knows what all...
I sometimes just dont understand...why the heck am I here...what the hell am I doing...
somehow being Bangalored totally sucks...
sometimes working in this office totally kills...
I am so angry...so livid,so frustrated,so annoyed...

I fail to understand my everyday purpose...my goal,my dream..this is not what I dreamt of doing...this is not what I dreamt of growing up to become..
This is definitely not what I planned for myself..!!!!
But I landed here...and here that I am...I dont know ,why is it always me who has to face it all...to be THE ONE out of all the other deserving people to be here in this spot!!!!
but who cares...
just about no one..
and thats what makes it worse...
God...I hate this!!!!!